


Stay

by angelblades



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 10 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7445281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelblades/pseuds/angelblades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is in the bunker when Dean asks him to stay, just not in the way he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Shannon for the beta and encouraging me to explore this headcanon! This one's for you. Enjoy.
> 
> And a quick thank-you to Jules for her beta as well! Hope you like it.

Castiel is in the bunker, doing research. It's the dead of night, so the Winchesters are in bed, sleeping. Castiel doesn't sleep, and he supposes he could just sit at one of the tables and scan through the books and files in a split second with his mind, but he has hours to kill, and he's discovered that he quite likes the feel of paper between his fingers, the smell of books ancient and new, the satisfaction he gets when he stumbles upon something that could help them in their hunt to get this mark off Dean after looking for hours.

The problem is, Castiel realizes, that he's finding nothing that can help, they're finding nothing. It makes his heart ache, a sensation that still takes him by surprise, and he grieves silently for Dean, for Sam, do himself, knowing that if his brothers and sisters could hear him and plan an attack on the Winchesters at their most vulnerable.

This puzzles Castiel, his brethren thirsty for Winchester blood. They had saved the world countless times, saved Castiel countless times. Yes, they may have caused their fair share of problems for the angels who were keen on warring over the world, but without them, there wouldn't be a world to war over.

This train of thought turns sour as Castiel thinks that he was the reason the Winchesters were constantly tasked with the brutal responsibility of saving the world. He's the one who raised Dean from Perdition, breaking the first seal and making way for the first Apocalypse. He's the one who couldn't keep his mouth shut and challenged Raphael. He's the one who felt responsible for God's disappearance and so tried to become him. He's the one who brought the Leviathan back to Earth.

Castiel stops himself from thinking these things because he knows he's whining and Dean told him once that only babies whine, and Castiel certainly is not a baby. He knows that thinking these things isn't helping Dean either. He thinks that what has happened in the past years has made Dean Dean, and he knows that they have shaped Castiel far more than the millennia he has been alive for ever has. These years made Castiel Cas, something that is Angel and Human, that would fight for both Heaven and Earth, something that loves -

Castiel cuts himself off abruptly. No. You can't afford to think these thoughts, Castiel, he chastises himself. He returns his eyes and thoughts to the heavy book in his hand, reading the same sentence he's been reading for the past five minutes. Another minutes ticks by, and Castiel seems to be stuck on that sentence. He huffs quietly and shuts the book, resorting to his 'quick-search'. Again, he find a nothing that could help, but he supposes he should have known that because he's done this so many times he's lost count.

He decides to broaden his search and begins looking for answers and help in every library he can reach from this underground bunker in the middle of Kansas. Castiel knows that this will take slightly longer than just searching the library in the bunker, or some small town in the Middle-Of-Nowhere, USA, but it's over before he can even begin to fathom the knowledge he's gained. He knows that nothing he just saw is going to help, and his head drops into his hands. Kneading his temples, Castiel fights off the sudden urge to cry. He doesn't understand why he feels like he should cry over this one human, but then he is reminded that this 'one human' is more like the One Human to Castiel.

Castiel sighs and tips his head back. He would try reading for fun or relaxation, like Sam does, but since Metatron downloaded every story to ever be told onto his brain, Castiel feels like it wouldn't be as fun or relaxing. At least, not yet. 

He even ponders returning to Heaven, but quickly shoves that idea to the side, knowing that the angels in Heaven are probably furious at him for letting Metatron escape.

Castiel's thoughts wander to Hannah, and how well she was rebuilding Heaven and restoring order. How she  didn't want Castiel to have anything to do with Metatron because she knew that he made Castiel feel things that even he wasn't sure what to do with. She just wanted to keep Castiel safe, from Metatron, the other angels, himself, Castiel didn't know, but he knew that Hannah wouldn't trust him and make him leave.

Castiel feels tears prick at his eyes again, but before he lets the thoughts of his old home wash over him, he stands up quickly. He suddenly feels as though the bunker walls are too confining and he needs to get out, but before he makes it to the door, he hears a cry sound from somewhere within the bunker. Castiel is racing down the hall before he knows it, his angel blade wrapped tightly in his fist. Sam's room is silent, so he passes it as another cry reaches his ears, and this time Castiel can tell it's Dean. 

When he reaches Dean's room, Castiel throws open the door and runs in, expecting to see Dean fighting some sort of monster that somehow made it past their security, but he just sees Dean laying in bed, the sheets fisted in his hands and sweat beading along his hairline. 

Castiel crosses the room, storing his angel blade. "Dean," he says, "what's wrong? Wake up, Dean." Dean doesn't hear him and the next sound out of his mouth is a breathy whimper, and Castiel's name.

Castiel sits back in shock, staring at Dean's crumpled face. He hesitantly reaches his hand out to touch Dean's forehead so he can see what Dean is dreaming, knowing full well it could be one of those dreams.

Castiel hadn't been aware of those types of dreams before he became human and had one about Dean after they'd kicked him out of the bunker. It was why he was so hesitant to reach out to the Winchesters after that angel had started killing those suicidal people.

Nevertheless, Castiel's hand brushes Dean's forehead, and Castiel thought he'd braced himself well enough, but this isn't what he was expecting and he sits stunned, his hand falling heavy on Dean's face.

Dean isn't dreaming at all, Castiel realizes, he's having a nightmare. Pain and heat and shouting overwhelm Castiel before he pulls his hand back, putting up walls to block the nightmare so fast that he is stunned. He can still feel the pain and confusion and fear, and he knows that Dean is dreaming about Hell, but he thinks there's a little bit of his mom's passing and the beating he got when Sam disappeared that one time all those years ago.

Castiel tries to wake Dean again, but he is so paralyzed by the fear that he's unable to wake up, and Castiel is getting nervous. He knows that forty years in Hell alone is enough to drive a person mad, and he is hit with admiration for Sam, that he was able, is able, to hold himself together as best as possible, and then regret and concern for the nightmares he must get after one hundred and twenty years in the Pit.

Dean shakes Castiel out his thoughts with another breathy cry. "Cas, please. Help me, please please please -"

Castiel silences him by brushing over his thoughts in an attempt to calm Dean down, but the nightmare is too strong, and so Castiel wraps Dean in his thoughts and feelings and his very being. In every language he is pleading, begging, imploring Dean to calm down, telling him that he is okay and Castiel is here and he won't let anything hurt him. Castiel knows he is muttering under his breath in Enochian, but he is channeling the feeling of home into Dean's mind, trying everything to get him to calm down and wake up.

Castiel feels a presence, but it's gone as soon as it arrived, and he can only assume it was Sam, but the thought is dashed almost instantly. Castiel is putting his everything into this, and it's scaring him that it's not working, that Dean is still laying in bed whimpering and crying out and tenser than Castiel has probably ever seen him. 

Dean, wake up, I'm here, you're in the bunker, you're safe, Dean, wake up, you're okay, I'm here, wake up, Dean Dean Dean Dean -

Castiel is cut off when he notices Dean has stopped crying. He turns and sees that Dean is looking at him with swollen eyes, and before he can apologize and leave, Dean is sitting up and reaching out blindly, his arms swinging before they catch Castiel's trenchcoat. Before Castiel can even register what's happening, Dean is pulling him into his lap, burying his face into Castiel's shoulder. Stunned once again, Castiel pauses before shifting so he's holding Dean more than Dean is holding him, rubbing circles into his back. Castiel tucks Dean's head under his chin and presses his mouth into Dean's hair, pushed by some instinct that he is unsure of where it comes from.

Suddenly, Castiel is hit with a tidal wave of thoughts. Dean's walls are down and he's vulnerable and practically pushing his thoughts onto Castiel, and it's overwhelming him. There is so much hurt and Castiel starts gasping and there are tears now, and it feels like Castiel is drowning and he just wants it to stop, more for Dean's sake than his own and he is still drowning and it's too much, there's too many thoughts being pushed into his head and he can't distinguish them from each other and it needs to stop.

Then, like a beacon of light, or maybe a buoy keeping him afloat, one thought, or one train of thought, becomes crystal clear, rising over the rest.

'Cas please stay please don't ever leave again I need you Cas I need you I need you I need you Cas I love you.'

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the tense slips at all. I'm used to writing in past tense, but I felt present tense better suited this. I'm pretty sure I picked up on any tense slip-ups though.
> 
> And this was heavy in the italics, but they disappeared when I pasted it here. I will be back to edit them back in as soon as possible because they really add to the story, I think.
> 
> *EDIT* Okay, so I've tried inserting the italics on two different doc programs, but each time I paste the story onto here, the italics disappear. Sorry if this makes me sound like a frumpy old woman, but has anyone had this problem before? If so, how did you fix it? As I said, I really like the element that italics add to this, so any help would be appreciated.


End file.
